Old Banjo Westone

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by corsair on Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:07 pm

Locking the thread in 3....2...... Laughing

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Iceman on Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:01 pm

So whadd'ya have if you dig a pit large enough for every banjo in the world to stand in and be buried up to their topmost tuning pegs in sand?.... scratch Suspect scratch

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Iceman on Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:06 pm

westcoaster wrote:Just reminded me of an old joke:
What's the difference between an onion and a banjo?

Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
^^^^^^^^THIS is classic material^^^^^^^^^

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by gittarasaurus on Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:21 pm

Iceman wrote:So whadd'ya have if you dig a pit large enough for every banjo in the world to stand in and be buried up to their topmost tuning pegs in sand?.... scratch Suspect scratch

a pit that is too shallow! Very Happy



and another one.....

what do you call perfect pitch on a banjo? No :?:

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by PaulS on Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:09 am

Dont know that one but as we are doing banjo jokes...

what is the best noise a banjo can make?
Splash.

How do you tune a banjo?
turn the peg of the first string and keep going til it snaps. Then do the rest.

Best use for a banjo?
As kindling in an accordian fire.

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Westbone on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:14 am

hoax wrote:I believe, if memory serves me right, that Westbone's wife (Mrs Westbone) plays the Banjo too!

Hoax

That's correct hoax. Mrs Westbone has been known to play a banjo.
Here is the offending article but first.

Why are banjo jokes so simple? So bass players can understand them too..








Can be changed to an open back in seconds





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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by PaulS on Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:41 am

[quote="Westbone
Why are banjo jokes so simple? So bass players can understand them too..
[/quote]

Very Happy ... touche

As it happens I would LOVE to be able to play banjo. Is it a hard instrument to learn?

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by corsair on Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:08 am

I found it next to impossible; I kept on reverting subconsciously to guitar techniques, so getting the finger rolls working was just so damn hard. See, the finger rolls are the rhythm and the thumb picks put the melody which is opposite to a guitarist; that 5th string just complicates everything!!
My banjo chops were never even roughly in Bela Fleck or Earl Scruggs territory, but I did use it onstage, for Squeeze Box, Mrs. Brown, youve got a lovely daughter and a little of Journey of the sorcerer. Sometimes even had a crack at Orange Blossom Special.....

Sad to say, I haven't played a banjo for nearly 4 years now, as that, my lap steel, mandolin, synthesiser and guitars were all put into deep storage while we're travelling, and I haven't played guitar from December last year until Easter at Dons....

However, I have just been told that our gear has arrived in Brisbane from the UK.... With some guitars in it!! Yay....

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by gittarasaurus on Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:09 am

perfect pitch on a banjo...

is when you can get it all the way to the bottom of the dumpster without hitting the sides. Laughing

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by gittarasaurus on Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:32 am

there is this banjo player who just finished up a gig, and decides he needs a drink for the long ride home. so he pulls his car up to a little convenience store and goes inside to get some coffee. while he is pouring his drink he thinks to himself, "OH NO! I left my windows open and my banjo is just sitting there on the back seat!"

so he runs outside to check, and yup, his worst nightmare has happened .... pale

there's 2 more banjo's there in the backseat. What a Face

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by westcoaster on Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:36 pm

Paid for bass lessons for my son. After the first one he said great lesson, learnt the first five frets on the E string. After the second he said he learnt the first 5 frets on the A string, 3rd lesson the first 5 frets on the D string and fourth lesson the first 5 frets on the G.
I asked him how the fifth lesson went, he said he didn't go, I asked him why.
.
.

"because we had a gig"

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Westbone on Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:42 pm

Laughing Laughing Laughing

I used to mainly play bass for the simple reason I'm lazy!

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Sgt. Vimes on Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:35 pm

Westbone wrote:
hoax wrote:I believe, if memory serves me right, that Westbone's wife (Mrs Westbone) plays the Banjo too!

Hoax

That's correct hoax. Mrs Westbone has been known to play a banjo.
Here is the offending article but first.

Why are banjo jokes so simple? So bass players can understand them too..








Can be changed to an open back in seconds






WOW! that is just beautiful, we had a microwave just like it




Wink

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Barry on Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:57 pm

The two of us were laughing to the point of tears at the shop today over this thread.
Too funny!

I think I may have pee'd my pants too.
Just a little. What a Face

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by beavis on Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:09 am

Barry wrote:The two of us were laughing to the point of tears at the shop today over this thread.
Too funny!

I think I may have pee'd my pants too.
Just a little. What a Face

Looks like our friend Chevalpiano isn't peeing his pants though :alien:

This thread is a good laugh though drunken

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by westcoaster on Thu Apr 19, 2012 4:50 am

How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
.
.
5
.
.
1 to change it and 4 to sing about how good the old one was.

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Westbone on Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:23 am

Around here a slang term for certain members(if you can call them that) of society are referred to as Banjo players.
Something to do with inbreeding.

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by westcoaster on Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:52 am

Might be time to ease up on our banjo playing colleagues, can't dispute the skill involved in playing it properly. I do believe though that there is a special particularly fiery place reserved in Hell for those that inflict Satans out of tune piano on us - yes, I mean the accordion.

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Barry on Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:45 am

westcoaster wrote:...I do believe though that there is a special particularly fiery place reserved in Hell for those that inflict Satans out of tune piano on us - yes, I mean the accordion.
Uh, oh...wait for it. tongue

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Iceman on Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:49 am

...well the kids don't eat And the dog can't sleep
There's no escape from the music In the whole damn street
'Cause she's playing all night And the music's all right
Mama's got a squeeze box Daddy never sleeps at night
Laughing

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Westbone on Fri Apr 20, 2012 3:04 pm

The accordion players around here are half cut Romanian gypsies. Thank you very much EU for letting them in to thieve, pickpocket and generally cause a nuisance. Romanian gypsies make up 5% of their population and 95% of their prison population, strange eh!.

Well that's the only accordion players we have around here. Playing the same noise all day long, usually outside pubs, shopping centres and street corners, until the get moved on. Big problem.

Allegedly!!! Evil or Very Mad

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by westcoaster on Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:47 pm

Moving on, because there are a million other forums dealing with race issues.

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by westcoaster on Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:51 pm

However, the accordion i was thinking about is the Scottish country dance variety. Aka jimmy shand.

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Sgt. Vimes on Fri Apr 20, 2012 4:54 pm

Westbone wrote:The accordion players around here are half cut Romanian gypsies. Thank you very much EU for letting them in to thieve, pickpocket and generally cause a nuisance. Romanian gypsies make up 5% of their population and 95% of their prison population, strange eh!.

Well that's the only accordion players we have around here. Playing the same noise all day long, usually outside pubs, shopping centres and street corners, until the get moved on. Big problem.

Allegedly!!! Evil or Very Mad

no more so than most towns local chav/scally population, at least they bring a little outside culture with them.

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by corsair on Fri Apr 20, 2012 5:29 pm

Moving quickly along......

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

Post by Westbone on Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:02 pm

westcoaster wrote:Moving on, because there are a million other forums dealing with race issues.

KINOSABE affraid

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Re: Old Banjo Westone

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